Introducing...

Well, I almost puked while waiting in the exam room for the RE to show up. Unfortunately my normal RE had an emergency and couldn't make my appointment, but one of the other RE's filled in. I was holding my breath the whole time and he finally showed me the screen. We have one little bean with a beautiful heartbeat. Everything is still really early, but just hearing the heartbeat and having a heartbeat is a milestone in itself. I'll be going back on January 12, I'll be 8w3d then. It was an amazing experience. I'm truly blessed. My due date is August 21, 2011.


Other than being tired, peeing alot, and getting headaches on a regular basis, I'm doing just fine. We'll see what happens in the coming weeks. It's be nice to stave off M/S but I'm not betting on it. Thanks again for all your support and encouragement, it's been a long long road, and I certainly haven't reached the end. It's just nice to finally be on a different path.

Scared

I apologize for not posting more or commenting. I guess I'm just trying to keep my sanity together to get through these next few days. I don't think anyone can prepare you for the anxiety that comes over you when you're waiting for that first ultrasound. I'm so afraid that we're going to get there all excited, my RE will put the probe in and nothing will appear on the screen, just a black abyss that is my uterus. I can't shake this feeling and it's been keeping me up at night. I don't know it it's a way for my subconscious to prepare me in case something does go wrong, or I'm just a complete nut-job and just need to chill out. Either way, this has been worse than ANY 2ww ever! Don't really have any symptoms. I am peeing more often and get tired pretty easily in the early afternoon, but other than that, nothing else. I know most of the major symptoms won't start until later on, but it's still unnerving because I don't feel any different. I haven't had any major cramping, spotting, or bleeding, so I guess that's a good sign, but then I second guess myself and think that I should feel those things if everything is normal. So I have 2 more torturous days to get through and then we'll have to get up at 4am on Wed and drive the 3 hours to J-ville. God I hope it's going to be worth the trip.

Christmas Miracle

Well the nurse called me earlier, she said she couldn't wait to tell me or make me wait the whole day to find out.

5w1d 1664

I'm still in shock. I'd been taking tests every 3 days since Thursday, and my lines were only getting darker, so I knew that it certainly didn't go down, I just didn't know how much it had gone up. I was praying for at least 1600, b/c that would mean that it was doubling every 48-72hrs, so I got my wish.

Our first ultrasound is set for Dec 29, 7:30am. It can't get here soon enough.

Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers, I wouldn't have made it without all of you. It's still going to be a long road with lots of hurdles, but I'm very thankful to have made it to this point when I know so many of you are still struggling.

Same As It Ever Was

Well not great news, as usual.

12dp3dt 293
14dp3dt 407

It didn't double. Freaking story of my life. I have a repeat on Monday. God help me. I need some prayers to get me through this weekend. I luckily thought ahead and set up a therapy appointment for Saturday for just such an occassion.

Beta #1

Well, I'm pregnant and it's the highest beta I've ever gotten, ever.

Hcg (4w1d) 293
Estradiol 610
Progesterone 39

I'm happy, but very nervous about what my beta will be on Wednesday. The 2nd beta is always when things fall apart for me, so it will be an anxious 2 days. Thanks for all the well wishes. I'm very thankful to have this chance again.

I Caved...

I have NO will power. NONE! I decided to go home early today and POAS, b/c I'm just crazy like that. I bought some FRER (2lines) and W.algreen's Digitals.

Today was 7dp3dt and I got 2 beautiful lines on the FRER and a digital "PREGNANT"! Hot damn!

Not that this means much, but at least it wasn't a BFN. Also it's a good sign b/c I didn't use FMU. I will probably test once a day until beta and just make sure things keep getting darker, but I'm hopeful yet again. Maybe 3rd BFPs the charm?? Please just pray that this isn't another stupid chemical and that I'll finally get my Bday, Christmas, and New Year's wish. I don't want anything else, honestly, just this, please? Santa can you hear me?

Half-Time Labs

I'm hanging in there. I don't know what it is about the 2nd week of a 2ww, but it's torture to me. All I want to do is POAS, even though I know it's early, I just want to know if it worked already. Geez! So I've gotta keep busy and keep telling myself that this round is different and I need to hold out POAS until closer to beta day. It's more important for me to not stress if I get a BFN, than to try and POAS early to see if there's a BFP. I mean honestly, I've seen a BFP, I know they exist and I can get one, but I need to remember that seeing a BFP means jack squat at this point. It's that beta number that's most important. Here were my labs, they're right where they need to be, so we can't blame my hormone levels if this doesn't work.

Estradiol- 509
Progesterone- 37

Will check in periodically, because I'm going to need y'all to tell me to pee in the toilet and not on a pregnancy stick! Ugh this waiting sucks!!

Transfer Complete

Well I'm finally back from the RE. It was a long morning. I feel so bad for R, we had to get up at 4:30 and he immediately had to drop me off a little while ago and go into work. I know he's just as tired if not more than I am of having to make the trip back and forth so much.

We transferred 3 8-cell embryos. They only had to thaw 1 straw, which means we still have 5 left for another transfer. The RE said they looked excellent and when the embryologist came in to find out how many my RE needed I could tell from the expression of his eyes that he was a little shocked we were transferring all 3. I guess that's a good thing right?

I can feel a little bit of hope creeping back in, but I'm being very cautious about it. I have to be after everything that's happened. My first beta is Dec 13. I'll be getting my Prog and Estradiol checked on Dec 6, which is something they've never done. I've also been an Aspirin regimen and on Prednisone for 5 days, so we'll see what happens.

I'll check in next week after my hormone check and let you know what's going on. I also have another therapy appointment next Monday. Thanks for all the well wishes.