Monday, December 27, 2010

Scared

I apologize for not posting more or commenting. I guess I'm just trying to keep my sanity together to get through these next few days. I don't think anyone can prepare you for the anxiety that comes over you when you're waiting for that first ultrasound. I'm so afraid that we're going to get there all excited, my RE will put the probe in and nothing will appear on the screen, just a black abyss that is my uterus. I can't shake this feeling and it's been keeping me up at night. I don't know it it's a way for my subconscious to prepare me in case something does go wrong, or I'm just a complete nut-job and just need to chill out. Either way, this has been worse than ANY 2ww ever! Don't really have any symptoms. I am peeing more often and get tired pretty easily in the early afternoon, but other than that, nothing else. I know most of the major symptoms won't start until later on, but it's still unnerving because I don't feel any different. I haven't had any major cramping, spotting, or bleeding, so I guess that's a good sign, but then I second guess myself and think that I should feel those things if everything is normal. So I have 2 more torturous days to get through and then we'll have to get up at 4am on Wed and drive the 3 hours to J-ville. God I hope it's going to be worth the trip.

8 comments:

  1. I felt the exact same way before my first ultrasound, Melissa. I think it's totally normal for an IFer to be cautious and not want to get their hopes up. I remember when the RE pointed out Camden's heartbeat, I just burst into tears because I could finally allow myself to believe it was real. I can't wait for you to have that same feeling of relief.

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  2. Although you know it's perfectly understandable for you to feel this way, I know it's impossible to shake it. You're right that you're not having any signs of problems, which is great.

    Hang in there...only two more days!

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  3. Sending you good thoughts for wednesday. I hope you have a great ultrasound that calms your fears.

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  4. I can only imagine how tough this wait must be. Please know I'll be thinking of you and praying for you and your little one.

    Hugs!!!

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  5. Praying that Wednesday brings you great joy and relief!! ((HUGS))

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  6. I felt the same way! With all my ultrasounds I would be a "basket case" and I still get nervous when a doctors appointment is coming up. As far as the symptoms I kept looking for some too, although I did have the peeing more and tiredness I didn't really have "morning sickness" I more or less had food aversions. Just remember each person is different. Praying that the wait is over quickly and ALL is well with your little one(s).

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  7. thanks for your update -- SO glad to hear that you and everything is okay. at least you don't have to wait too much longer for your 1st ultrasound. i will be thinking of you -- and i'm sure that everything will go as smoothly as it has so far. :)

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  8. Thought about you a lot this morning, and waiting not so patiently for your update! HUGS Melissa, no matter what you see, it is an emotional u/s to see.

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