Do I even call it that? I mean I knew I was pregnant on Sunday, got confirmation on Wednesday and then last Friday everything fell apart. I didn't get to see an ultrasound, hear a heartbeat, or even get the chance to truly be happy with the news. It all happened so quickly. My beta dropped to 145, so at least I didn't have to make the choice to terminate, it was made for me. I stop all the meds today and wait for probably the worst AF I'll ever have. I have a repeat beta next Wed to see how far my levels have dropped. Our phone consult with our RE is set for July 8. I can't believe it's so far away. Our 5 year anniversary is on July 2. We're going to Charleston for a night, the place we met and married and then on to see my parents and some of my relatives. I was hoping this would be our first anniversary as expectant parents, well there's goes that dream. So I guess we will start IVF#2 in a few months. I'm sure I'll have to wait a few weeks for AF to even shown, then I guess I may have to wait another cycle before I start BCPs again, I'm not really sure. I guess when AF shows I'll call and find out. But with my luck they will make me wait another cycle before I even start the pill again. This wasn't how I even imagined our first attempt at IVF would go. Guess I should have realized with out luck thus far that something was bound to go wrong. It was inevitable. Nothing is ever going to be handed to us, especially a baby.
Thank you all for your love and support. I'll actually be on here more now and be staying away from BabyCenter. The IVF group I belong to has so many freaking BFPs (3 sets of twins) and many that are already moms, it's just a bad place for me to be, even if I'm just lurking. Love to you all. I'll make it somehow.
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