This is my journey to motherhood. It's a bumpy road, but I'm traveling it whole heartedly.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
This is it. One more beta on Wed and then it will finally be over. I am preparing for the worst and being realistic. The likelihood this is not a viable pregnancy is very high its the truth no way around it. In almost 6 days my beta went from 103 to only 165. I cant help but know that this isnt normal. Theres something very wrong and theres nothing I can do about it. I hate everything about IVF. It gave me hope. I had 11 embryos and there are 0 left. None. My biggest fear has come true. I know theres something wrong with my eggs. What else could explain it. 11 embryos dont just die for no reason. I will find out why. I have to know. Id rather find out that my eggs are screwed up than go thru another miscarriage. I was happy for less than 48 hours and that joy was ripped away. I will be changed by this. Theres no way around that. Ive lost a little more of the minimal hope that I have. When will it all run out?
My name is Melissa and I'm 28 years old. I've been married to my husband for six years. We've been together since we were 18. We started TTC in May of 2007. I've been thru 8 rounds of Clomid, 3 IUIs, and IVF#1 which all resulted in BFNs. FET#1 and IVF#2 ended in chemical pregnancies. FET#2 resulted in our little miracle Liam, born 8-17-11. This is now my journey through motherhood and past infertility.