Tuesday, June 22, 2010
This is it. One more beta on Wed and then it will finally be over. I am preparing for the worst and being realistic. The likelihood this is not a viable pregnancy is very high its the truth no way around it. In almost 6 days my beta went from 103 to only 165. I cant help but know that this isnt normal. Theres something very wrong and theres nothing I can do about it. I hate everything about IVF. It gave me hope. I had 11 embryos and there are 0 left. None. My biggest fear has come true. I know theres something wrong with my eggs. What else could explain it. 11 embryos dont just die for no reason. I will find out why. I have to know. Id rather find out that my eggs are screwed up than go thru another miscarriage. I was happy for less than 48 hours and that joy was ripped away. I will be changed by this. Theres no way around that. Ive lost a little more of the minimal hope that I have. When will it all run out?