#Microblog Monday 485: Accepted Names
21 hours ago
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Being Real
This is it. One more beta on Wed and then it will finally be over. I am preparing for the worst and being realistic. The likelihood this is not a viable pregnancy is very high its the truth no way around it. In almost 6 days my beta went from 103 to only 165. I cant help but know that this isnt normal. Theres something very wrong and theres nothing I can do about it. I hate everything about IVF. It gave me hope. I had 11 embryos and there are 0 left. None. My biggest fear has come true. I know theres something wrong with my eggs. What else could explain it. 11 embryos dont just die for no reason. I will find out why. I have to know. Id rather find out that my eggs are screwed up than go thru another miscarriage. I was happy for less than 48 hours and that joy was ripped away. I will be changed by this. Theres no way around that. Ive lost a little more of the minimal hope that I have. When will it all run out?
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Oh Melissa, I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. I'm still praying for you and this pregnancy and that you won't ever lose hope. I wish there was something more I could do... *love and hugs*
ReplyDeleteI know it doesn't help, but I am so sorry. It's not fair. It's just so unfair. (((HUGS))) I will keep praying that things will turn out better than you expect. And that if they don't, that you have some peace. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I have been in a similar place twice last year and know a little bit about how it feels. Please continue to have hope!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so hurting for you Melissa. I've been reading your blog for a while and have seen you get several positive pregnancy tests only to be crushed a few days later. It's just not fair.
ReplyDeleteI ran across your blog tonight and wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you. I am hurting for you and I feel horrible that this happened. Many blessings and take care. We're all here for you!
ReplyDeleteOh, Melissa--your words are so raw and I am crying for you. I just don't know what to say and wish there was more that I could do for you. It must be extra difficult considering the line of work you are doing with your studies that you know too much. Please take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry Melissa. I really wish this weren't happening to you and the hubby. Please know NYEBoy and I are thinking/praying for you.
ReplyDeletePlease call me if there is anything I can do for you. Hugs.