This is my journey to motherhood. It's a bumpy road, but I'm traveling it whole heartedly.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I am such a bad blogger. I guess I've just been trying to not think of it as much, but of course it never works. Well I tested on Thursday and saw a very very faint line on a FRER, but then I tested on Friday morning and it was negative, devestating to say the least. I decided not to test this morning and will test again on Sunday morning since that will be 9dp3dt (12dp). I know it may not show anything either, but I guess I just want to feel productive and if POAS does that then so be it. Of course, I'll be sad if I don't see that ever elusive second line, but I will tell myself it is still too early. On one of the boards on BBC that I'm on, one of the gals just had a beta 10dp5dt and it was only 32, but her docs were ok with that. With a beta that low, it wouldn't even show up on some sticks, so I guess even if on the day of my beta I don't get a BFP, it may still not be over. I'm so thankful for the weekend, but Monday and Tuesday of next week are gonna be torture, I can feel it. Luckily Rob has Wednesday off so he will be coming with me to the hospital where I get the test done. I will have to go in to the school for a little while, but then I will probably skip the rest of the day to come home and wait for the most important phone call of my life. I never realized how different IVF was from IUI. Right now I know that I have two embryos in my uterus, I've never had that before; it's a completely different feeling. I'm already protective of them, I already speak to them each day, I want them to stay around so much, but I know I have absolutely no control over what happens, and that sucks. But, it's a lesson that God has been trying to teach me throughout this 3 year journey. I am NOT in control, He IS. I have to keep reminding myself of this. I'm hoping since tomorrow is Sunday and church day, maybe God will bless us early, just this once.
My name is Melissa and I'm 28 years old. I've been married to my husband for six years. We've been together since we were 18. We started TTC in May of 2007. I've been thru 8 rounds of Clomid, 3 IUIs, and IVF#1 which all resulted in BFNs. FET#1 and IVF#2 ended in chemical pregnancies. FET#2 resulted in our little miracle Liam, born 8-17-11. This is now my journey through motherhood and past infertility.