Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So it's been a really tough couple of days. I started POAS last week got a faint positive, then the next morning got a negative. I got another faint positive on Sunday, and then another negative yesterday morning. It pretty much drove me nuts. I luckily didn't POAS this morning and will not on Wed, since it's the day of my beta. My emotions have been all over the place; I've been really really down and then pretty optimistic, sometimes within the same hour. I've cried at least once everyday since Friday because I've been so concerned that since I wasn't getting a darker second line that something was surely wrong. I know that I brought this upon myself by testing early and probably testing at all, which my RE suggests we do not do, but it's a hard habit to break, especially when you've been POAS pretty much every month for 3 years straight. I'm doing better this morning. I have been at least keeping up with my BBT and over the past few days it's been getting really high for me. My normal baseline is 97.4. If I have temps over 98 usually right before AF and then they drop to around 97.8, AF is sure to come either that same day or the next. Since Friday my temps have been around 98.3 and this morning it was 98.65, the highest I have every gotten since I've been charting. Something is certainly going on, hopefully something good. I've been a big slacker at school these past few weeks and I know my prof is probably getting a little upset about it, but at this point I'm so focused on myself and Rob, I just can't do much else. I'm hoping that once I do get that BFP finally, no matter if it's now or after a FET, that I'll finally be able to breathe a little easier and get back to work like I know I need to. I've had some cramping off and on over the past few days, no spotting whatsoever, which I guess is a good thing. Wish me luck, this test could change my life.