Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I'm scared, I'm terrified, but I'm excited all the same. We are moving forward with IVF. We go to Jacksonville in the morning for Rob's DNA Frag Test. I'm nervous about it, but I think we need to know the results because it will change the way we do IVF. If the results are bad then we will have to do ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection), which of course costs more. I finally got the run-down on the costs, I think I almost passed out while on the phone. Just one cycle could cost us upwards of $15000 including meds. We are thinking of doing the guarantee program, which allows you do to 3 IVF cycles and if after the 3rd cycle you still aren't PG, they give you 70% money back. Now I don't know if this includes FET, that's something I'll have to ask about. Once we get the test results back, which could take up to 10 days, we are going to meet with Rob's parents to figure out a money plan. They are being so generous and offered to help us, even if it's just to help us with a loan. I don't know how much they are willing to give us, but any little bit will help. I'm going to have to dig deeper into what our prescription drug insurance covers on meds. We would at least be able to pay for them a few times, without getting a loan. I'm looking forward to moving on, but I'm not looking forward to the torture of going thru the actual IVF and all the emotional toil that comes with it. But I'm ready to be PG. And if by chance IVF still doesn't work for us, with the guarantee we could use to money towards adoption, which I think is a great idea. We've both talked about it and have agreed not to go the donor route. Rob said he was fine with it, but I feel like if we can't have a child that is biologically ours, I don't want to have a child that is just biologically mine. Rob would still love it just the same, but I guess I would feel a little guilty about it. It's just a personal preference I guess. I don't want to be PG unless it's our child. I'm not obsessed about being PG, I'm obsessed about being a mother. Being a mother is more important to me than carrying a child and it took me a while to figure that out. It's weird not worrying about everything with my cycle this month, but in a way it's a relief. I'm just going to try and take some time to prepare myself for everything to come.