The Quiet Zone
12 hours ago
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Stressing
I'm scared, I'm terrified, but I'm excited all the same. We are moving forward with IVF. We go to Jacksonville in the morning for Rob's DNA Frag Test. I'm nervous about it, but I think we need to know the results because it will change the way we do IVF. If the results are bad then we will have to do ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection), which of course costs more. I finally got the run-down on the costs, I think I almost passed out while on the phone. Just one cycle could cost us upwards of $15000 including meds. We are thinking of doing the guarantee program, which allows you do to 3 IVF cycles and if after the 3rd cycle you still aren't PG, they give you 70% money back. Now I don't know if this includes FET, that's something I'll have to ask about. Once we get the test results back, which could take up to 10 days, we are going to meet with Rob's parents to figure out a money plan. They are being so generous and offered to help us, even if it's just to help us with a loan. I don't know how much they are willing to give us, but any little bit will help. I'm going to have to dig deeper into what our prescription drug insurance covers on meds. We would at least be able to pay for them a few times, without getting a loan. I'm looking forward to moving on, but I'm not looking forward to the torture of going thru the actual IVF and all the emotional toil that comes with it. But I'm ready to be PG. And if by chance IVF still doesn't work for us, with the guarantee we could use to money towards adoption, which I think is a great idea. We've both talked about it and have agreed not to go the donor route. Rob said he was fine with it, but I feel like if we can't have a child that is biologically ours, I don't want to have a child that is just biologically mine. Rob would still love it just the same, but I guess I would feel a little guilty about it. It's just a personal preference I guess. I don't want to be PG unless it's our child. I'm not obsessed about being PG, I'm obsessed about being a mother. Being a mother is more important to me than carrying a child and it took me a while to figure that out. It's weird not worrying about everything with my cycle this month, but in a way it's a relief. I'm just going to try and take some time to prepare myself for everything to come.
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I'm praying for you. Hang in there. xoxo
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the tests! So happy for you!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the upcoming test. I hope ivf is the key for you :) IF you do get pg and don't have to have the other two rounds ivf you might pay for in shared risk, do you get that money back?
ReplyDeleteFrom what I have gathered so far, I'll be asking some questions in the morning, you only pay about $3000 extra for the shared risk. But, if you get PG on the 1st round, you don't get your money back, you only get your money back (70%) if after the 3rd round you aren't PG. So we are basically going to weigh the cost of whether guessing we may have to do more than one round of IVF is worth a few extra thousand. My gut is telling me to cover all bases especially since one round of IVF costs so much. Think of what 2 or 3 rounds would cost, individually? With the shared risk you are only paying an extra few thousand for that 2nd and 3rd round, plus with the guarantee if it doesn't work we could put the money towards adoption.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with it all Melissa. It sounds like you and Rob have really made some progress together on deciding what you want and where you're prepared to go. These are hard decisions but made easier when we feel the love and support of our partner. That's very cool of Rob's parents to offer to help, they obviously love you both very much... wishing you all the best and much happy news this year.
ReplyDeleteI remember that mix of feelings all too well. I'm excited for you too!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! We are in the middle of our last IUI cycle. If this doesn't work, we are moving to IVF too.
ReplyDeleteThat's great that you are moving forward! I too discovered at a certain point in our journey that I cared MUCH more about being a mother than about being pregnant, and that's when we decided to pursue adoption while still TTC. Our darling baby boy made us parents 8 months ago through a domestic open adoption, but while he is truly the light of my life, I do still long to experience pregnancy & delivery too. So here I am, 3.5 years into trying and still, well, trying. Good luck with all the testing and with IVF!
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