Birth and Boobies

Hi everyone, I know it's been a while since my last update about going in for a C-section, but I've been busy with the new little guy to say the least.  The C-section itself was not as bad as I thought it was going to be.  They did a spinal block instead of an epidural and honestly I was more scared of this than the surgery itself.  I had an amazing set of nurses and anesthesiologists and they made it a really great experience.  It was very surreal not being able to feel my legs, but you just kind of block it out and focus on the outcome.  Plus I had people talking to me constantly and Rob was able to come in after about 20min.  When they finally pulled Liam out, he kind of just gurgled from all the fluid, but when I finally heard his first cry, everything that I had been through these past four years to bring him into the world was totally and completely worth every heartbreaking moment.  He's perfect in every way.  He has my nose and chin and Rob's eyes and mouth.  It's amazing that he looks like a perfect combination of both of us.  He weighed a healthy 9lb 5oz and was 20.5in long. 

The recovery from the surgery was anything but fun.  It was extremely painful and there were times I was in so much pain I was shaking and crying uncontrollably.  We were in the hospital from Wed to Sat afternoon before being released and by Sunday I had finally weaned myself off of the pain meds.  I'm still having problems with my bowels, mostly weird pulling and stretching that is painful when I go, but I've been told it's normal, so I'm trying to just deal with it.  What I wasn't aware of was that I would still bleed even though I had a c-section.  It makes sense, but no one ever told me about it.  Kind of weird having this visitor around that I haven't seen since last Nov.  Can't say that I've missed her!

While in the hospital I tried my best to BF.  By Friday Liam had lost almost a whole pound and they were adamant that I start supplementing, so we started him on Si.milac formula.  I started pumping on Sunday and by Monday my milk had finally come in.  I was told b/c of being Hypothyroid my supply would be compromised and may never get very high which wasn't comforting to hear, but I understood there wasn't much I could do to change it.  They rechecked my Thyroid levels in the hospital and everything came back normal, so I'm ok there.  I've been trying to pump 10-15 min, double pump, up to 8 times a day.  So far since Monday I'm up from just drops to about 8oz in a day.  This isn't much at all, but I'm trying my absolute best to do whatever I can to help inc my supply.  I drinking Mother's Milk Tea every morning, eating oatmeal every morning, and taking Fenugreek 2 times per day (I may up it to 3 to see if it helps).  I asked the OB about any prescriptions that could help and they said they don't offer or approve of anything (even though I know there are some available that "might" help).  I'm frustrated and upset about not being able to do this one thing for Liam, but it goes back to my body never living up to my expectations.  I'm trying to let him BF some too during the day before and after I pump to maybe help inc my supply too.  I really do enjoy it, but it's also been nice to let Rob bond with him over feedings.  I'm also able to help with all the laundry and keeping the house in order more since I'm not BF him constantly.  Yes I do miss it, but I think this is what is going to work best for us at least for now.  I'm not sure how long I'll be able to do this, because eventually his needs will certainly outgrow my supply, but I'm going to give him every single drop I can produce in the hopes that he's getting some benefit from it even if it's small.  Any advice from those of you that pump would be appreciated!  Hugs everyone and I'll try and post a pic soon.

Scheduled C-Section

Well we are going to meet our little boy tomorrow morning.  I'm scheduled for a c-section due to his size and my high BP issues.  My last appt went well, it was really long.  We got one last look at him and even got a few more 3D pics.  Based on measurements he's well over 9lbs and in the 95% and higher for weight, head/abdomen circumference, and femur length.  He's going to be big and long!  My BP was still too high even though I've been resting constantly for the past 2 weeks straight.  When I was checked my cervix has shortened some, but other than that no more progress.  If we were going to induce he said we'd probably wait a while longer and even then there's no guarantee I'd progress.  He also said of course the longer we wait the bigger he's going to get.  I don't want any emergency situations occuring.  I honestly feel good about our decision to go forward with a c-section.  Yes I'm scared, yes I'm sad that I couldn't go through with a vag delivery.  But honestly, I'm happy that my vag isn't going to be in shreds after delivering this guy.  I know my recovery is going to be alot more difficult, but I'm going to have lots of help, so it will all work out in the end.  Will update when I can. 

Not What I Expected

So my appointment on Monday at 37wk showed that I didn't progress much from the previous week.  I'm at 0 station and about 1/2-1cm dilated, the OB kind of gave me that.  My BP was higher than normal for me but the nurse just brushed it off.  So yesterday at about 4pm I started having contractions, like the braxton hicks but this time accompanied with some cramping.  Only problem was they came every 4-6 minutes.  I monitored up until 8pm, same thing for 4 hours straight.  So I decided to go into triage, to get checked.  No change from Monday, was having some "minor" contractions but they basically told me not to come back unless they are bad enough that I can't walk/talk while having one.  Okay, got it.  However, while they were monitoring me my BP was pretty high, highest they got was 142/95.  Not good.  So they did bloodwork, that came back normal.  So they released me but made me do a 24hr urine collection, which I'll finish tomorrow morning.  If the results are bad, then I could be induced early.  Today I've been on self-imposed bedrest.  My last day at the lab was yesterday before the contractions started, so I'm glad I made that decision.

As far as the house, we just got through all the inspections.  Unfortunately we didn't pass our WDO and there's stuff that was found on the home inspection, but I should have been prepared for it.  Hopefully some things well be able to fix ourselves and the others well just have to pay to get done.  I don't think I realized that we would have to basically PAY to sell our home, but in this economy that's the norm I guess.  We are basically, once all is said and done, starting out completely broke in ATL.  We're going to have to rely on our parents because in all honesty with the repairs and closing costs totalling close to $15000 (this includes what we still owe on our mortgage), we will basically have nothing left.  I'm scared beyond measure.  I'm upset that we weren't able to get more for our home, but I understand that we are beyond lucky to even be under contract right now.  I know that we'll make it somehow.  No matter what I will provide for this child and Rob will too.  It's going to be a new chapter in our lives and I guess starting out completely "fresh" in a way, will force us to make alot of changes.  We certainly won't be buying a home anytime soon.  Like probably not for another 5 years or more, it's just not worth it right now.  We should be finished paying off our IVF loans and car loan within 4 years, and I think once that happens it will certainly be alot better than it is.  Plus since I'll be making almost double what I made as a grad student, at least we'll be pulling in more that we ever have with 2 salaries. 

I'm just taking it one day at a time and praying along the way.  I know things will be okay, but it still doesn't mean I haven't lost sleep or cried about everything that has been going on.  It's just alot to take in all at once right now.