Thursday, July 8, 2010
The Problem Is Your Eggs
Yep, that's what the RE said. Was I expecting it? No. Am I starting to feel a little more okay about it? Yes. We were already prepared to possibly use donor sperm, well it just got switched on us. In all honesty we just want to be parents. And at this point I don't care how it happens. I don't even know if I really even care all that much about being pregnant. Sure I would love to go thru the experience, but if it isn't in the cards for us, I think I'm more prepared for it now that we've gone thru a failed IVF. We tried everything and I feel like there wasn't much more we could do. I will be doing some bloodwork to check for clotting disorders and also do a chromosome analysis on me. But even if the results come back ok, I just don't know if I'm prepared to go thru another IVF attempt, when the likelihood the results will be same is pretty high. I'm hoping I can get some answers from the donor nurse in the morning. I have no idea how this will play into the cost of everything. I looked online and the donor-egg shared risk program is like $27,500. S**T!!! But if after the 3rd attempt you still don't have a baby (live), then you get 100% back, which is nice. I just don't think we'd be able to come up with the money. We're already straped enough as it is, with paying for 2 loans for what we had to borrow for the shared risk program we already belong to. I'm hoping they can come up with some kind of plan that would just use some of the money we've already spent so we won't have to come up with more. Gosh this sucks! Welcome to the world of infertility.....
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Gah that is such a hard thing to hear. I hope the nurse gets back to you quickly and is able to help you two.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry! Hope that the b/w, chromosome analyses and your nurse are able to provide some answers to help you decide how best to move forward! Wishing you the best!!!
ReplyDeleteAw, so sorry you got that news. I really hope they can allocate some of the money from your current program to a donor egg program. I'm starting to wonder if I should let go of the pregnancy dream as well. Adoption just doesn't sound that fun right now though. Wishing you all the best.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I know it probably helps to have an answer after all this time, but I also know that it's got to be tough to hear what the answer is. I totally understand just wanting to be parents. I agree that how that happens isn't the important part. You & Rob will be fabulous parents, regardless of how your future children come to you. It sounds like you're ready to start developing a new plan and taking steps forward and I think that's awesome. You have been through A LOT...I have to believe that very good things are going to start happening for you soon. You deserve it so much.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to drop by and let you know you are in my thoughts. I know we already talked all of this out, but I felt the need to send you some virtual HUGS.
ReplyDeleteYou and Rob will be there - SDSW. Don't forget that. Love you.
Here from Carli's blog. I am so sorry about this news. I can't imagine how you must feel. Offering you some hugs and positive thoughts during this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteUGH! I'm so sorry. This effing sucks. I don't even know what else to say.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Melissa.
ReplyDeleteCall you soon.
Melissa--I am so sorry to hear this news. It cannot be easy even if you had thought of using donor sperm. Please know I have been thinking about you and Rob, especially because it just doesn't seem to be getting any easier. My heart aches for you. Take time for yourselves and take it all in. This is some really big stuff and I can only imagine how it must be rocking your world. Love you, sweetie!
ReplyDeleteMelissa, that is so heartbreaking. It's so hard knowing that it's out of your hands and there is nothing you can do about it. I am amazed by your attitude about this whole situation. When I was told my eggs were not very good, I had an emotional meltdown. Did they say what about your eggs was the problem? What were your FSH levels when they were tested? I'm so glad that you have the option to use the shared risk program. I'm sure money is a huge stress though. Big hugs and prayers in your direction right now.
ReplyDelete(Gah! I want you to know I have tried to post a comment since you made the post, but for some reason my computer doesn't like it when the commenting window is in the same page as the post. I've tried several times and I am so frustrated that I couldn't let you know I was thinking so much about you!)
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I am so very very sorry. I can't imagine how hard it is to hear that and deal with the implications because of that. Jake and I are thinking about both of you. My heart aches for you and I will be praying that the something wonderful God has in store for you arrives very very soon- some way. Love you.