Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Trying To Feel Better
Well it's been exactly one week since we got the BFN news. I can say that I'm starting to feel better about it, but it's not something I can easily just forget. I had supposedly 2 healthy embies and neither stuck. How am I supposed to be ok with that? They didn't live inside of me, they didn't grow any further inside of me, everything that was supposed to happen didn't. I'm really anxious to see what our RE has to say at our consult next week. I've basically thought about what I want to do and it boils down to more bloodwork to make sure I don't have any clotting disorders which would prevent implantation and the fact that we WILL be transferring 3 frosties for our FET. Rob and I are both adamant that this happens. In all honesty we don't want to have to do this again, we want multiples, and we want to be able to move on with our lives. Yes, don't get me wrong, if we end up with just one healthy baby, I will be beyond thrilled, but that means I will still have to pay more money to go thru another FET (and spend more on meds again) and we would have to start TTC all over again if we wanted more children. I'm an only child and hated it growing up, Rob and I both want at least 2 children, of course I would love more than that, but it may just not happen for us. AF finally started on Monday, exactly 5 days after my last PIO shot. It's funny that after two days of not doing the shots, my hips and butt on both sides finally started hurting. So not only do I get to enjoy the loveliness of AF, I get an ever so fun reminder that I was doing shots not so long ago to try and keep a pregnancy that never happened. Perfect.