Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Next Step

So AF arrived last night. I called the RE to find out what the plan is for this cycle. Evidently he may want to start injectables, which will be quite expensive. It's something Rob and I will have to sit down and think about. I'm not sure what I want to do. I'm still waiting to find out what the RE really suggests, I just talked to a nurse, so I guess we'll make a decision after that.

In the midst of everything that happened this weekend, Rob and I were really thankful for all the support we got from our friends. It meant alot to us, and it meant alot to me to have all of you be so kind. However, something has really been bothering me. Our closest friends haven't said a word to us. Not a text, not a phone call, nothing, just silence. On Friday when I got my positive, I ran down to their house (they live two houses away) and showed my friend the test. Mind you she's almost 20wks PG and we haven't said alot to each other lately. She was so happy, we sat down and talked and tried to figure out a neat way for me to tell Rob. She showed me her PG book and what it said about how many weeks I was. Then on Sat when I got the negative, she called me and said, "I didn't get a positive for almost two weeks. Don't worry it'll be fine." That's all she could come up with. We told them on Sunday night that I was going in for a blood test to confirm everything. I sent her a text and Rob left a message for her husband, so I know that they know.

We used to see them two or three times a week. We did everything together. And ever since she's become PG everything has changed. We don't have anything in common it seems. They're in this new club and we aren't members yet. It seems like they are slowly distancing themselves from us and it hurts so much. I don't understand why on top of everything we have to deal with because of IF, why we have to lose friends along with it. I thought that friends were supposed to be supportive and be there for you no matter how difficult the situation is. Evidently they aren't as good of friends as we thought.

Rob said he's actually hurt by it too and that says alot. Most of the time he tells me I'm over-reacting, but not this time. He says he'll probably mention it to the husband and let him know how hurt we are by everything. I think this will be a turning point in our friendship. If they can't understand why we are so hurt, then maybe they aren't truly our friends.


  1. IF made me lose many friends. I do'n think your friend's reaction has anything to do with your friend being pregnant and you guys not having as much in common. You don't need to have things in common to know that if someone got a false positive after how much they wanted this, that they could use a call or a hug.

    I have been through several rough experiences in my life, losing a house through a hurricane, job loss, and I've seen that with these things just as with IF, you find out who your friends are in the toughest times.

    It's sad to realize that someone is not who you thought they were, but its better to know so you can move on.

    Here from LFCA

  2. Ugh, I'm so sorry about what's happened. It is really a shock when you realize who you can and can't rely on or trust in this process. And it hurts because the revelation usually comes well after you've already put your heart in their hands. Try to keep it light with those that don't turn out to be the true friends and appreciate the ones that do. And take solace in the fact that it really is good to know which is which. For what it's worth, given the negative test, I'm glad AF has arrived and you can move on (and not be in beta hell). Thinking good thoughts for the steps ahead.

  3. I feel my friends were excited about it in the beginning. But as the months have gone on and on they don't bring it up anymore. I'm pretty sure they just don't know what to say, and they are probably sick of hearing about my cycle, lol.

    It's rough on my family. My much younger sister (Not married/Oops pregnancy) is expecting. So there is a very fine line of me getting super pissed off or balling my eyes out, lol. They definitely tip toe around me.

  4. Here from LFCA.

    I've lost a lot of friends to IF. Sometime, after her baby is born, you might renew your friendship, but it will likely take a bit.

  5. So sorry about the negative beta. How awful after seeing a + on the hpt. It's so hard when friends don't get it - just adding to the experience of loss/grief.
    (IF blogging at

  6. Melissa,
    I have lost so many friends to IF that it's scary. Like the second people get preggo they stop talking to me for whatever reason.....sick of hearing me bitch, uncomfortable around me, don't want to have to be considerate of my feelings, whatever. It's bullshit. And it just adds to the pain. I don't understand people. :( Sorry I don't have words of wisdom here.