Standstill

So I thought I would be happy about seeing my GYN, that I would feel like things were moving forward, but I don't. I'm ovulating, great, I'm still not PG, but my doctor seems to like pointing out that my Progesterone was great, I should have been PG. I'm sorry, but that doesn't make me feel better. So he wants me to stay on Clomid. I hate the way it makes me feel. I've gained so much weight, I've been on a diet for weeks, but nothing is working. I get hot flashes all of the time. I want to cry every 5 seconds. So how am I supposed to get PG when I feel like this? We may miss our opportunity this month b/c I'm going to be at the beach for a much needed break, I'm sad about it, but in the end I realize it probably wouldn't have happened this month either. I won't be able to see the doctor in SC til May 21, and even after that it could be months, if not longer before I'm regulated. I don't feel like this is going to end anytime soon. I guess my goal is to just get PG in 09'. I don't care when, as long as it happens.

Not So Good

So AF lasted only 2 days for me this month. Not good, not good at all. It more than likely means I'm getting a thinner lining, which certainly woundn't be conducive to getting PG. So I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says in the morning. I'm thinking it might be time to get off Clomid, it's been 7 months already. Besides I think I might be doing more harm now. This sucks.

A Little Better

So I'm feeling a little better about things today. I haven't had much time to dwell on my BFN b/c I've been so busy. I have an appointment on Friday with my GYN, who I really love, so we'll see what he says. Luckily the insurance department said they would work with me on payments since they still don't take my insurance at this clinic, so that is certainly a small blessing. Gearing up for a crazy last week of classes. 3 days to go...

Worst Day By Far

So Rob's Alltel store was robbed at gunpoint today. Rob got home ok, he was really late though, so I was worried about that. Evidently 2 armed men came in to the store around 5pm. One had a black ski mask, the other just had a white t-shirt wrapped around their head. They told everyone to get on the floor and give them all their money. Rob and one other teller immediately pressed the silent alarm. Everyone (including 12 customers) got on the floor. Rob and three other tellers opened their drawers and laid them out for the guys to take. Rob specifically touched only a portion of the drawer so the guys hopefully could leave fingerprints. The men pointed their guns at two of the women employees. Evidently when one of the men stuck the gun to the back of one of the women, Rob said if he had tried anything he had planned to try and tackle him b/c his back was turned. That scared me more than anything, b/c he was willing to risk his life to save his co-worker. It would have been extremely noble, but I'm sorry I want my husband around. After the guys left with only about $600, Rob immediately locked the front door and told everyone to get to the back of the store. All of this happened in the span of about 1 minute, based on the surveillance tapes. If the police had gotten there 30 seconds or so earlier, they might have been caught. But I look at it as good the cops didn't get there sooner, in some aspects, b/c the robbers may have acted differently and someone could have been shot. Rob hasn't gotten upset about it at all. He's actually been cracking jokes with his other co-workers, which has me really concerned. It wasn't a laughing matter. He could have been killed. I'm so upset right now. But I guess this is his way of dealing with it, trying to make it out to be less than it really was. He has to go to a mandatory counseling session at 10am on Sunday, which I think will be good. This was the absolute last thing I thought would happen.

Oh and to top it off b/c I was so freaked out about everything, I tested early and of course got a BFN. So I'm not holding out any hope. And another topper, Rob's store will be closing, and there will be more lay-offs. So there's my 3 shitty things for the month.

And here I was thinking things were actually going well, boy was I wrong.

Progesterone Check and Psychic Prediction

So I got my Prog results today, only 11, not that great. I also went in 2 days later than I normally do, but if I was PG I would think my Progesterone levels would be increasing, not decreasing. So we'll see, it's not over til AF comes.

I also did the free psychic reading from Cheri22 and this is what I got sent today, hoping she's right!!

Hi Melissa, Is it possible that you are pg right now and perhaps too early to test? Like in the two week wait period or even just about to ovulate"? they show an APRIL and girl connection so this is either birth month, concieve month or the month you find out in. Let me know if you have any questions. Best Wishes, Cheri

Reconciliation with PG Friend

So in class this morning, my PG friend decided to sit in front of me like she used to. We chatted a little bit back and forth, but after class we talked for a while. I was actually ok with asking how things were progressing and when her due date was. She asked alot about me and how things were going, so that made me feel alot better. I'm not completely over the fact that she is PG and will be showing soon, but I'm getting there. So all in all, not a bad day, other than I'm still at work, and I can't wait to go home.

PG Friend at Lab

So I was thinking that when I go to the lab to get my bloodwork done, I wouldn't have to worry about running into PG people I know. Not so today. I ran into my PG friend whose been avoiding me ever since she told me. She and two other PGers who happened to be the only other ones there, were talking none stop about symptoms and the joys of their U/S. It was absolute torture. She said hi and that she was getting b/w done, well duh, I kinda figured as much. We got called back at the same time, but to different nurses. I was in and out and when I was leaving I went by where she was waiting, and she was like, "Well, that was quick." And I said, "Well I'm used to it." and I sped away. I just couldn't face her, it hurts too much right now. She's already starting to show, which means she's probably due in Sept or Oct. Why does this effect me so much?